


It's a wonderful life

by NoodleNoodleNoodle



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Dom/sub, M/M, Smut, Soulmates AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:47:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28888602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoodleNoodleNoodle/pseuds/NoodleNoodleNoodle
Summary: Throughout his life, Paul McCartney has only seen the world in grey. Everyone always told him that he would see color when he would find his soulmate, but he could never bring himself to go looking for them. But, after an encounter with someone he knows he will most likely never see again, Paul drops almost everything to go and find them.
Relationships: John Lennon/Paul McCartney
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter One

"No one really knew what the word color meant until they saw it. For a majority of the young population, the entire world was just grey. Grey flowers, grey trees, and grey people. But, that was the reality until one found their soulmate, and it was only then that the world became full of life and meaning, or so Paul was told.

He has only met about five adults who had their entire world filled, and almost every other adult would always have two or three missing. They never discover who their real soulmate is, and find love in someone who is close enough. Many give up after a few months or years, acknowledging that the person who was meant to be with them could be on the opposite side of the globe, never looking out for the person who they truly belonged with.

This had happened with his mother and father. Both knew they would never find their soulmates, yet they chose to live a comfortable life together, even if they couldn’t see everything their world had to offer to them.

  
Even though Paul could be taught about colors, learn about them, study them even, he could never really grasp the understanding of how colors made such a difference. If nothing was going to really change, then there’s no real point to be had right? But, he sometimes thought about what it would be like seeing the world so differently, although he never found the strength to go looking for the person that would make it that way.

His mother always assured him that he would find his soulmate, yet Paul’s counter was that he could go looking all over the world and waste all of his money on someone who he would never find. Even though his vision lacked color, his mother still tried to explain what red was to him.  
“Red is the color of love and passion, it’s mainly used for when you are feeling something really strong. I don’t really know how else to describe it, but it’s filled with so much emotion.”

  
“That’s nice mum, but it’s not like I’m going to see it anytime soon.”

  
“Well, it never hurts to have expectations, and you’ll find your soulmate eventually. Then you can see every color to exist.”

  
“But what if I never find them? I don’t want to end up like you.”

  
“James, there’s nothing wrong with missing a few. Just because I can’t see all of it doesn’t mean I can’t see some. And besides how are you supposed to see it when you haven’t even started looking?.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

  
Even though Paul didn’t think about how and why he would find his soulmate that much, he couldn’t help but wish for a glimpse of what life was like through the eyes of someone who’s found their soulmate, their person, their only one. Whenever he would pass a couple holding hands, or an old husband and wife sitting next to each other on the bus, he wondered if life truly was better when they found each other. Yet every single time he would make up the excuse of, they can’t actually see color, or, maybe they just wanted to be together because they couldn’t find their soulmate.

  
•~•

  
Paul continued to pant push in and out of her. He held her legs up high and gripped them so hard that there was no doubt there were going to be bruises the next morning. He loved this. Her face continued to scrunch up every single time he thrusted into her. It made him feel safe, that he could take someone like this and both of them knew that they wanted from each other.

They both knew that this won’t go anywhere, so might as well take what they want. Paul suddenly flipped the woman over on her stomach and placed her arms to her side. She unconsciously spread her legs and let Paul insert himself into her. Even though some people waited to have sex with their soulmate, some people, like Paul, just wanted to feel the pleasure of fucking someone. It didn’t matter if they weren’t meant to be together, as long as they could just enjoy the pleasure part, it didn’t matter who it was with, soulmate or stranger.

Paul could hear her loud pants and moans muffled by the pillow as he practically fucked her into the bed. He then began to lean over her and cup her cheek while he tilted her head to face him. He jabbed his tongue into her hot mouth and sucked her tongue hard. She responded eagerly by kissing back just as hard and pushing her back into Paul. This was just another nameless girl who he met at a bar who told him she could provide him with sex.

It doesn’t matter what her name is, if she’s in a relationship or single, or if she can even see color at all. All that really matters right now is fucking her and getting . He could feel the slow feeling of an orgasm coming up to him. He responded to this feeling by slamming himself harder into her and gripping her arms harder. The woman began to moan like a whore into his mouth as she pushed her hips back into Paul.

  
“P...please.” She said as she barely managed to pull away her face.

  
“Beg me.” He replied coldly and he began to slow down his movements. Paul always felt more aroused when his partners begged for him. It made him feel superior to others, that they could get their orgasms because he allowed them to. The woman began to squirm, pushing herself back onto him, and trying to get him to fuck her faster.

  
“Please, Please, I need to cum! Paul please! I need you so bad!!” She begged loudly as Paul began to speed up his thrusts into her again.

As Paul pulled on her hair, he thought he saw a flicker of brown, and that’s when he tipped over the edge, crying out as he released himself into her. After a few more hard thrusts she came as well, and her whole body sank into the bed. Paul pulled himself out and rolled over next to the woman, who turned her head and began to shuffle closer to his body.

  
“Baby that was so good.” She said while she hid her face against Paul’s shoulder, almost hiding from the reality of what they had done. Paul wrapped his arm around her and moved his face closer to hers. He stroked her hair and kissed her slowly while his racing heart began to slow down.

Paul thought back to when he was taking her from behind, staring at her grey waist and grey hair, hoping that something would happen, yet he knew how foolish that was. How can you expect your soulmate to be someone who fucks people for a living? It was a ridiculous thought, and even more ridiculous that Paul actually believed it for a second. Paul and the nameless woman both stared at each other for a little while longer, both silently agreeing that after this day they will never see each other again.

Maybe Paul would just never find his soulmate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I forgot to mention that this takes place during the 20's/30's. So just keep in mind that they are dressed like people from peaky blinders.


	2. Chapter Two

“C’mon Paul you can’t keep doing this.”

George said as he flicked Paul’s head with his middle finger. Paul reacted by sticking out his tongue and continuing to gulp down his fifth drink of the evening. He moved his eyes across the grey walls, with all the grey people in the old photos, and the grey women dancing in the middle of the stage.

Paul decided to do a long take over to where a majority of the people were dancing, seeing if any of the colorless women there made eye contact with him so he could see if he would want to fuck them later that night. He usually succeeded, getting a cute girl or two, by pulling his mischievous grin and pulling them close to his body as he danced with them.

“Whaever Georgie I’m gunna to do whaevea the hell I want.” Paul replied as he continued to drown himself in the cold, grey alcohol while keeping his eyes on one specific girl with short hair and pretty face. She looked like she could ride him real good so he kept her in the back of his mind. George kept on pestering him about how much he drank, how much he fucked random girls but there was no way that Paul was going to just stop. He would rather fuck a million girls and drink until he was dead before going to go look for someone who could be literally across the world.

This routine that was the life of Paul was the exact same one that he started when he turned 18. Going into bars, finding quick girls who he could forget and move on to the next day, repeating the process every weekend. He already concluded that he wasn’t going to go anywhere in his life. He knew he was just going to find a job, probably as a bartender so he could get free booze, marry a fine woman so he could see at least a little bit of color, have kids and then die.

At least that was his plan, unless something interesting happened.

“Paul, you’ve been doing the same shit for almost 2 years! Can’t you find something else to do other than drinking yourself to death? What would your future one and only love say about this?” George said and snatched the bottle out of Paul’s hand. Paul glared at him and leaned forward to try and take it back but George just threw it away. Paul’s drunken brain couldn’t think of a reason why his soulmate would care, not like he’s going to find them anyway.

Paul just rolled his eyes and began to turn his head back around and yell to the bartender about getting another drink. George began to think about how bad this had become. He never wanted to see his friend become like this. It seemed like these days all he talked to was a person that didn’t even want to know about how to find his soulmate, and lacked the motivation to go find them because of the possibility of not finding them.

“I meeEeEEEAaaN”, Paul replied lazily as he opened up his sixth bottle, “I’llll waste my precious pounderinos. I’d rather fuck. And bEsIdes you can always tell me wha’ iss like to see the world that way.”

“God Paul, you're so drunk. Pounderinos don't even make sense, just say pounds what the hell.” George was disgusted with his friend. Paul practically whored himself out to any girl he saw worthy of being a whore too. This wasn’t something that Paul used to do on a weekly basis. He used to be excited to encounter someone new, someone who he thought could be someone who would make his world different.

He always asked George what color would be like, because George had met his soulmate the earliest, at age 15. But it’s not like Paul stopped asking questions, he just slowly began to realize that not everyone found their only one’s, so he just decided to make the most of his life, even if it meant fucking almost every single girl he laid his eyes on.

As George lost himself in his thoughts he didn’t realize the person who was plaguing his thoughts got up and was making his way over to the girl he had been eyeing earlier. Paul swayed his way over to her and weaved his arm around her shoulder. At first she was taken aback but when she quickly made eye contact with Paul, her entire posture relaxed immediately. She recognized him as the person that was eyeing her up earlier.

“Hey baby.” Paul said, trying to make himself seem more attractive, although he was very drunk and his breath probably smelled horrible. He looked down at her pretty grey lips and wondered how soft they would feel on his dick.

“Hi” she replied timidly, and Paul smiled and began to pull her out of George’s view and slowly lead them toward the back of the bar where they could talk without the band covering up her precious little voice. He knew that George wouldn’t approve of this, but at this point he already got the girl so it would be a shame to just put her to the side.

They talked about nonsense for a while, what they did for a living, if they had seen any color, and something along the lines of what they wanted from each other. She said she had a flat nearby where they could talk a little bit more, so Paul and the girl began to stand up. As they were making their way to the door so he could lead her out of the bar, someone stepped in front of him.

“Y’know, Paul, I thought I told you to stop.” George told him, almost scolding him like a child. Paul grew irritated with his tone, he wasn’t a child, he's 20 years old, he can take care of himself and he could do whatever he felt like.'

“George are you serious, can ya not do this right nooooow. I’m in tha middle of somethin’.” Paul said as he stared at George's grey angry face. He considered that he could punch right then and there, but it would make him look bad in front of the nameless girl, and would probably get them kicked out of the bar.

“Paul, stop it.” George said sternly. His face became extremely cold and it was almost as if he was going to kill him if he stepped out the door with the girl. Paul began to sober up a little as he knew he didn’t want to get beat up tonight, because as skinny as George looked he could really pack a punch. Knowing he lost, Paul gave out an extremely exaggerated sigh and turned to the grey girl. As he moved his eyes away from George’s he could feel his eyes on the back of his head, watching his every move and listening to every word he said.

“Sorry loOve, not tonigh’. My mate here is being a right asshole about you but maybe we could do this anotha’ time?” He said. The girl looked directly at George with so much anger that Paul could practically feel it pouring out of her, but when she moved her eyes to Paul they quickly softened as if nothing happened.

“It’s ok, I’ll see you around.” She replied as she leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek and headed back into the crowd of people toward her friends. Paul looked back at her and looked around the crowd of people again, and tried to focus on remembering her face so that he could fuck her later uninteruppted. He couldn’t believe that George ruined his chance to take another girl home. Why couldn’t he let him have it this one time? But as soon as they opened the door to go back to their flat, Paul got smacked right into someone’s chest.

“EYY! watCH iT MATE.” Paul practically yelled into the stranger’s chest. He couldn’t believe this night could get worse as he began to feel pain all over his face. First, George lectured him on not drinking as much, next, his date was ruined because of said George, and now he just got slammed into someone because they weren’t even paying attention. Since he lost his girl, he just wanted to go home and sleep it all off.

“Sorry mate, didn’t know I would bump into a fucking lunatic tonight.” The stranger replied with an annoyed voice. Before Paul could see what this person looked like and give him a piece of his drunken mind, George quickly pushed him out of the bar and the coldness of the night. The cold sea breeze smacked him harder than the stranger only a few seconds before. He pulled his coat tighter around himself as George began to yell at him.

He could hear the sea swishing up against the dock and it provided him a nice distraction from the lecturing he was about to get from George. Since the line of bars and shops was right next to an ocean, Paul and George made their way over to where the concrete stopped and the sea started and Paul rested his arms on the thick ropes. Paul looked down to all the boats beneath them, thinking that maybe he could row his way around the world to find his soulmate.

“Are you trying to start a fight or something while you’re roarin’ drunk? There’s no way that you’re stupid enough to fight someone while you can’t even walk straight.” George yelled as he shook his head while they both stared out into the open, grey sea. Paul turned to face him and yell something about how it wasn’t his fault but he quickly shut up when he noticed something else. He got a sudden feeling as if someone was looking at him from a distance, hidden in the shadows from both of them.

Paul began to look all around, with George just staring at him. Paul looked toward the bar, down the steps that lead to the boats, near the lampposts, but he saw nothing.

“What are you doing.” George finally said after a few silent moments of trying to understand what Paul was even doing. He knew that Paul was drunk, but he couldn’t be that drunk to be just looking around for no reason.

“I think someone’s looking at us, let’s go home.” Paul said as he removed his arms from the rope and started walking in the opposite direction of the bar. George followed him suspiciously but didn’t further say any questions. This night was just getting weirder and weirder, what if Paul now had a stalker? No, that can’t be possible, he wasn’t really someone worthy enough to stalk.

He didn’t have a filthy rich amount of money worth stealing, and all the girls he had slept with knew that he was just another nameless face. Maybe it was just a weird feeling. He gets those all the time anyway. Him and George kept walking toward their flat until the eventual feeling shook off. A comfortable silence fell in between them and it wasn’t until they were at their door where Paul decided to speak again, wanting to ask what they were going to eat.

“Hey George, I-woah” Paul stopped. His friend looked different. Not like, facial features, but there was something new that Paul couldn’t shake off.

His friend's eyes were brown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, thank you so much for reading this chapter!! I hope you enjoyed this longer one, I enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think! Also, I literally do not know how to add different end notes to each chapter. I am struggling. I accidentally deleted the first one and if someone knows how to do this can they please inform me of this, cuz i am an actual boomer.


	3. Chapter Three

Holy shit. George had brown eyes. Paul quickly sobered up and it was as if he had never drunken those six bottles of beer at all. This is officially the weirdest night of his life. He never expected this to happen at all. Was it the girl from before? Or maybe when he had that weird feeling of being watched, maybe it was that person? Why is this happening to him? And why is it only one color? Isn’t he supposed to see everything? Well, that didn’t happen with his parents, but at least they could see multiple, Paul could only see one! Paul didn’t know anymore and right now it didn’t really matter how he got this vision but he did. 

Paul couldn’t even believe what he was seeing at the moment, so he blinked. And again. And again. But his friend’s once grey eyes wouldn’t go back to grey. He wasn’t dreaming. Paul slowly made his way up to George’s once grey hair, only to find the strands a deep brunette. He still couldn’t believe it. He brought his hands up to where he could see them, to see if they also changed, but they were still grey. Damn. Paul’s sudden stop of words and intense face of bewilderment made George start to worry. 

“Paul, what’s wrong?” George asked with a worried tone. He had never seen Paul this way before. He looked like he was shocked to death. The way his mouth was opened slightly and his eyes almost staring into his soul. The whole world seemed to stop as Paul uttered something so quiet George had to strain his ears in order to even catch them. 

“George..” Paul stammered, “y-your eyes are brown.”

“What did you say?” George exclaimed with shock as Paul nodded vigorously. He had to be joking, but then again, Paul didn’t look like he was making a joke. This was real life. 

“How..” George started to question as Paul cautiously brought up his shaking hand to George’s hair and started to run his fingers through them. George didn’t even back away, he was far too invested into what Paul must be experiencing right now for the very first time. For Paul, it was strange seeing how his own grey hands contrasted the new found color of George’s hair. He tore his eyes off the younger’s head and looked around the entire area to see if he could spot anything out of the ordinary, but alas, nothing looked that different than when he left earlier that evening. After a long pause of letting Paul take everything in, George finally decided to speak up. 

“I think we need to go inside and sit down. It’s bloody freezing out here.” He said, pulling his suit jacket closer to himself. It wasn’t until George had mentioned the cold that Paul realized that it was indeed one in the morning, and that they could bloody well become an ice cube if they stayed outside any longer. He slowly nodded, and George brought out his skeleton key from his trouser pocket, and slowly inserted it into the keyhole. 

As George and Paul stepped into their shared flat, George flicked the light switch on, and the room was slowly lightened, giving Paul a brand new perspective of his own flat. Paul immediately began studying his surroundings, noticing that many things he had considered grey were now full of color. Or at least variations of the color brown. He could now see that the table in the kitchen was a chestnut color, and never before had he’d been more amazed at a table in his life. 

The wood flooring was giving off a rich, shiny color, as if it had been placed only five minutes ago. The picture frames above the fireplace were a light brown, yet the people posing in the photos were, unfortunately, still grey. Their flat looked so different, and knowing that this was something that George experienced all the time simply amazed Paul to no end. He simply couldn’t believe that this is something that certain people can see almost every day. 

Oh my god. Paul realized that this meant he was closer to his soulmate. His soulmate wasn’t someone who he couldn’t reach! They were close, possibly a few streets away from him! He quickly moved back to George who was taking off his suit jacket and grabbed him by his shoulders. 

“George, this means that my soulmate is here! I can find them!” Paul almost yelled, vigorously shaking his friend. He could finally find them. Ending his world of only grey, he could finally see what George would see. 

“Alright alright, calm your tits, whoever this person is they’re most likely not going to go anywhere. Unless they only came here for vacation or something.” George shoved off his friends hands and made his way over to the now chestnut table to set down his cap. Sleep began to call out for his body and he tried to enter his bedroom, where he could change into his nightshirt and night pants. Yet, Paul stopped him by grabbing his arm. George cringed at how cold his hands were. 

“No one comes here simply for vacation, there’s nothing interesting here. It has to be someone that lives here.” Paul told him eagerly. 

As Paul said, not everyone comes down to Liverpool for the simple joy of tourism. Unless someone who moved away from their parents and came back to visit their miserable relatives. Almost everything about Liverpool was miserable, other than the literal lack of color. It was usually cold and rainy all year round, the neighbors were not interested in anything, the clubs and the girls were boring, so many just chose to move away to finally see some sunshine or to find their only ones. No one found their soulmate in Liverpool, unless they were Paul somewhat. Paul continued on his iron grip of George’s arm, despite him wanting to move away because of how the coldness was moving toward his forearm.

“Look, if we’re going to talk about this, can we please make a cup of tea first? I’m fucking freezin.” George said, finally yanking his arm away after multiple tries of trying to squirm out of his grip. Paul nodded and chuckled softly, not even feeling that sorry for George’s arm. George made his way into the kitchen, where he poured water in the kettle, and turned on the gas stove. 

Paul dragged his tired feet to the couch and practically dropped himself into the cushions. Even though his body was tired, his mind and brain were racing. After a few minutes of simultaneously freaking out and thinking about his new vision, the kettle finally whistled and he could see George bring over two cups of tea with raw umber colored liquid inside of it. Paul stared down into the steaming tea, mesmerized by the color of it. George coughed, noticing his friend was stuck in a trance.

“Paul.” He called. Paul didn’t answer. He was still confused about this whole thing even happening. Though the steam was slightly getting into his eyes, he couldn’t really deny that what he saw was absolutely mind boggling. 

“Paul!” He called more forcefully, and Paul jumped out of his state of mind and looked up to his friend’s brown eyes. He will never get used to this. 20 years of just grey and suddenly one shade of color stands out from the rest of the world like it’s always been there. Well, in some ways it had always been there, Paul had just never discovered it. 

“sorry”, Paul apologized softly, “I don’t think I can ever get used to this, I don’t know how you did it.” His eyes landed back down to his tea again, not daring to take a sip. The tea cup started to burn his hand though, so he placed it down onto the small, chestnut table right in front of the couch. 

“Well, for one, I didn’t take it one color at a time. And, it must be harder for you to find this person since you’ve never met them.” George explained, trying to provide some sympathy toward his older friend. He moved the tea cup to his lips, taking a tiny sip, yet keeping his eyes on Paul the entire time. He wondered if he was going to do or say something else. But Paul kept staring at his tea as if he had never seen it before in his entire life. 

It reminded him of the first time he had ever seen color, but unlike Paul everything came to him all at once. He still considered himself lucky because he had found his soulmate, not many people get to even meet them. 

They met when he traveled to London with his mother at age 15. He had been walking through the train station in order to get a ticket back home to Liverpool when he made eye contact with a beautiful young girl sitting on a bench right next to the train tracks. Suddenly out of nowhere, the world seemed to brighten so much to the point where George had to bring his hand up to his burning eyes to sooth the overstimulation. He vaguely heard his mother calling to him to ask if he was alright, and he replied weakly. 

After a few seconds of confusion, he opened his eyes back up again, only to find the girl standing in front of him. He began to take his eyes up her figure, waiting for the moment they would land on her face. Her knee-length green dress, her upper body covered by a thick, warm red collared sweater, her short, blonde hair that were styled with finger waves, her rosy pink cheeks that were lifted up in a smile, and finally her beautiful blue eyes. 

He swore that she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his life. She was like nothing he had ever seen before. His eyes were glued to hers, both staring and shamelessly admiring one another. He found out through conversation that her name was Pattie, and that she was traveling back to London to go take care of her sick grandmother. 

Even though it was already four years ago, the time George spent with Pattie had seemed to take up his entire life. They already had gotten married, but both Pattie and George had decided that they wanted to save up some money before buying a house together. Thus, is the reason why he is staying with Paul in the first place. They had been best mates since they were fourteen. 

George didn’t even know he had spaced out until Paul furiously waved his hand in front of his face. After making a comment about how George needed to get out of his head in the middle of conversations, he apologized and continued sipping his now, lukewarm tea. Both young men continued to converse and think about how this could have happened, with Paul suggesting that he must have been near his soulmate because he would have noticed if the world suddenly decided to give him vision, but far enough where it would only give him a snippet of it. 

“Was it that girl that I was trying to pull?” Paul questioned, hoping that it was true, because she was indeed pretty. 

“Not likely,” George replied, Paul’s head slightly moving down in disappointment, “you would have noticed if my eyes had suddenly turned brown after, because you stared at me in the face while I took you from her.” 

Paul was still sort of angry that he couldn’t go home to the lovely girl that he could have had sex with, but he guessed it didn’t matter anymore because she wasn’t really worth anything to him. 

“Then, maybe it was the stranger who ran into me at the door?” Paul asked, though cringing at the thought of it. He didn’t want some 40 year old man to be his one true love. Paul wanted someone young, adventurous, beautiful, and most of all, good at fucking. The rulers of the universe couldn’t be that cruel to him, even though he might have done some mean things here or there. Such as kicking a kid in primary school because he commented on how his face looked like a girl. 

Paul knew he looked more feminine than most boys, but the fact that people around him knew about it made him more self conscious. And second, if the rulers of the universe wanted to be cruel to him, they already were doing that by making him play some kind of hide and seek with his soulmate throughout all of Liverpool. 

“Nah, don’t think it’s him either. You still saw my face after you bumped into him and nothing changed.” George chuckled, seeing Paul’s face twist with disgust at the thought of having to be with someone who was twice his age. 

George peered at the little cuckoo clock on the wall, and was shocked that almost two and a half hours had passed since him and Paul started talking. 

“Christ, it’s already three thirty. I think we better go get some rest and think about this in the morning.” George yawned as they both struggled to get up from the couch. Their limbs complaining about the sudden movement, both made their way to their separate bedrooms and said a soft, “goodnight” to each other. 

Paul entered his room and closed the door behind him. He noticed how his desk was a similar color to the one in the kitchen. Even as Paul started to remove his vest, his mind was still racing with thoughts about what to do. How is he going to find this person? His fingers slowly unbuttoned his dress shirt, dropping both articles of clothing on the ground, too lazy to hang them in his little closet. 

Was this person someone who lived in Liverpool? They had to be. Maybe they were someone who came to visit their parents or something. Paul pulled down his trousers, neatly folding them and setting them on the desk next to his bed. He treated his trousers with a little bit more respect because he was given them by one of his previous hookups as a way to try and get him to stay with her. 

He smiled at the memory, because even though he was going to leave her anyway, he got a nice pair of trousers out of it. He then pulled on a soft, cotton nightset and fell face forward into his big, fluffy pillows. Oh well. He could think about this tomorrow. Paul’s mind slowly drifted away into a peaceful sleep, pondering about who this mysterious stranger could be, Hopefully, he wouldn’t be let down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wrote brown so many times as an adjective, and realized it was a really annoying word, so I literally had to go look up a list where they were different words for brown. It was funny. I already have written the "meeting", I just don't know how I am going to get there. Probably by Chapter 7 or something. hehe.


	4. Chapter Four

Paul didn’t even know what went on in his head sometimes while he was unconscious. But he couldn’t say he totally despised it.

In his dream he saw himself with a young man, around two or three years older than him, and looking down he noticed that they were holding hands. Surprisingly, Paul didn’t move away but instead leaned into the warm body next to him. He stared at the roaring grey waves of the ocean in front of him, and felt the soft sand in between his toes.

The man released their hands and possessively put his arm around Paul’s waist. He let himself be held, rather liking the way the his hand just fit against him. They stood somewhere on a beach, not a single other soul in sight. Paul leaned down and picked up a little sand dollar that appeared in front of him. Wordlessly handing it to the other man, Paul smiled and was pleased when it was slipped it into the older’s pocket.

A slight breeze hit the stranger’s face as they both stared out into the open ocean, and Paul felt a warmth grow throughout his whole body as he turned his head to admire the his blurred face. Even though their faces were only a short distance apart, he couldn’t make out the features of what this man looked like. The only thing that he could distinctly see was the ruffled and wild strands of his grey hair. Paul ran his hands through it, and it felt soft, a lot like George’s. He quickly became addicted to the feeling and constantly played with the strands on the nape of his neck, while looking straight into his fogged face.

The beach was quiet, not one sound was heard, the waves and seagulls making absolutely no noise. Paul moved to hide his face more into the strangers shoulder, wanting to shield himself from the slight salt entering his eyes. The older accepted him, moving to stand in front of Paul to completely engulf him with a hug. Paul hugged back just as hard, grasping onto him as if he was going to disappear.

He was able to bury his entire face into the stranger’s chest, the scent of him filling up his senses. He smelled safe, like home. The man seemed to be about four inches taller than him, and the very fact that he was taller than him made Paul feel even more comfortable to be around him. He could protect him if something ever decided to chase after him, wanting to hurt him.

Paul felt untouchable when he was in the presence of him. Paul couldn’t even begin to describe the overwhelming feeling of familiarity and homeliness that he felt when he stood next to this mystery man. Everything started shifting, suddenly there was no sand beneath him, and he gripped onto the other person even tighter, not wanting to be parted with him for even a little bit. Paul felt them both falling, not knowing what they would land into. He closed his eyes and hoped that the man would protect him and keep him safe.

He could feel the warm blankets of the bed tangle up with him as a somewhat now familiar figure loomed over him.

Paul’s face blushed furiously at the feeling of the stranger essentially trapping within his arms, and next thing he knew they were kissing. God, he didn’t know he wanted this until it was given to him. He wanted this so bad. Nothing would have ever prepared to make him feel as good as this. His lips were like nothing he had ever felt in his life. Better than any girl’s he had ever touched, or fucked for that matter.

The man leaned off of him, and Paul whimpered as he tried to chase his lips. The older straddled Paul as his fingers began to unbutton his own vest and shirt, letting him shamelessly linger his eyes on his grey body. He started to feel himself grow harder, becoming flustered and aroused at the thought that he was becoming turned on from a man. A man, who was a stranger, and someone whose face he couldn’t even see. Yet, seeing more and more of his grey skin made Paul absolutely crazy. Noticing that he himself still had on most of his clothing, Paul began to undress rapidly, carelessly removing his own shirt and vest. He didn’t care if one of the buttons ripped off, all he needed right now was to get this man to touch him. To own him.

The stranger smiled the same smile that he did at the beach, and Paul thought he could just explode right then and there. But, he started to feel fingers move up and down his chest, Paul shivered at the touch. He slowly moved his mouth back down to Paul’s, his lips ghosting over his, until Paul couldn’t take it so he yanked the older’s hair down and brutally connected their lips. He felt him smile, somehow making Paul more harder than he already was, if that was even possible.

Suddenly, Paul thrust his hips into the older man, the feeling of friction being a blessing to his aching cock. Gripping one of the other’s hands, he shoved it down his trousers, wanting to make it known how turned on he was because of him. Paul almost cried in relief when he felt his hand curl around his manhood, finally giving him the attention he so desperately needed. He seemed to know where Paul would break the most, twisting his hands into all the right positions, making Paul moan into his mouth.

Paul threw his needy hands to the shoulders of his giver of pleasure, needing to find something to grab onto, not getting a good enough grip on the sheets under him. Plus he could use that as an excuse to keep his hands on him, not wanting to let him go anyway. The older continued to stroke him hard, letting go of their lips and moving his head down to Paul’s neck to lick and nip his skin. Paul gasped, and immediately bit his lip to try and suppress how much it was actually affecting him. His neck has always been a weak spot on Paul, it always felt more intimate than the other parts of his body.

“Kiss me....please.” Paul heard himself plead, his lips feeling rather lonely when they weren’t being abused by the other’s lips. Even though his neck was sensitive, he would much rather be kissed on the lips. It was strange hearing himself beg, considering he was the one who usually dominated the other person during sex. But he couldn’t deny that it felt good to finally let someone else take control for once, having someone that could take care of him.

The man chuckled, letting Paul hear his voice for the first time, and it sent shivers up and down his spine. Pleasure started to surge throughout his whole body as he realized the man beginning to speed up his hand. Thrusting his hips back up at a rapid pace, Paul began to essentially fuck the other’s wrist. Suddenly, the older man’s movements stilled. Paul shot open his eyes, not even knowing they closed in the first place. He stared into his still blurred face, becoming almost angry at the lack of movement. Paul needed to reach his orgasm, he couldn't wake up being on edge. What a horrible way to start a day that would be.

The familiar stranger leaned back, much to Paul’s dismay, and saw his mouth beginning to move with the intention of speaking. At first Paul couldn’t hear anything, and he strained his ears to try and listen. Yet, it seemed like nothing was coming out of his mouth, even though Paul could see it moving up and down. He continued to talk but Paul couldn’t hear anything from him. He only saw the vague movements of his lips moving, and sometimes into another one of his addicting smiles. It was becoming harder and harder to keep trying to understand him. Paul didn’t want to come back to reality just yet. At this point, he didn’t even care about his erection, he just needed to continue his dream. The surrounding walls were beginning to fade to white, and noise began to fill his ears.

“Stay” He cried, as the man began to lift off of him slowly and was making his way over to the door. Sounds of birds chirping, and cars honking became more evident in his little fantasy. Paul didn’t want to wake up, he couldn't wake up now, this was too good to let go. He needed to get this person back. He sat up on the bed and tried to reach out for him, but his hand simply passed through the strangers arms. Paul then quickly got up and tried to run toward him, but when his feet touched the ground, they didn’t budge. It was like they were built into the ground. He couldn’t move and simply cried and yelled as he saw the man disappear through the door.

He left him.

Paul awoke, a massive headache ripping his head apart. He shouldn’t have drunk that much. But again, it was something that he did almost every weekend, so his body should be adjusted to it by now. The feeling of something dripping down the side of his leg startled him. He lifted the sheets, only to find his cock hard as hell and leaking of pre-cum. Damn. Paul felt his face grow hot, recalling his dream. A man tossed him off. A stranger without a face, no less.

He groaned and threw off the covers so he could drag himself over to the bathroom where he could hopefully relive his dream. He wanted to feel those lips on his again. They were absolutely heavenly, he wondered if the owner of them were absolutely heavenly as well. He threw off his pajamas and turned on the shower, and stepped into the cold water, willing his roaring erection down at least a little bit. If George saw him like this, he wouldn’t be able to stop teasing him.

As the cold water continued to beat his face, Paul’s mind wandered to who the mystery man could even be. Perhaps he just went to sleep sexually frustrated because of the night before and that resulted in his wet dream. But, if that was the case, then shouldn’t it be a girl? He really only slept with women, it was only on one occasion that he ever had sex with man. Hell, it’s even illegal to even think about men that way! He could be humiliated, even jailed or worse, murdered. He knew what people did to those who were exposed for their love of the same sex.

He had read what some people have done to those who were homosexual in the papers sometimes. Cruel people would tie up them, pour gasoline over them, and watch them burn alive and laugh like they weren't watching an innocent person get burned to death. He couldn’t let that happen to himself, and he couldn’t let down his friends and family. Paul didn’t want them to be disappointed in a son that was a lover of men. Shaking off his disturbing and horrifying thoughts, Paul got dressed in his button up, gifted trousers, and vest.

He walked over to his chestnut desk, lifting up his little pocket watch that was old and rusted from age. He examined all of the tiny markings that were etched onto the metal, the most prominent one being a named J+M on the back of the watch face. His father gifted the pocket watch to him when he moved out of his parents home, both of them wishing that Paul would find their soulmate. They both considered it good luck because his father gifted it to his mother after they found each other. But Paul thought it was bad luck, because of the sole fact that he knew his parents were not indeed real soulmates. Paul decided it was best to let it sit on his desk for a few weeks until finally he decided to keep it on his person.

It came in handy whenever an attractive woman came up and asked for the time, as it was more useful to know the time rather than guess and look stupid. He could always use the line of, _“Come back to mine and you’ll know_ ”, but he never used it, knowing it came off as too straightforward and he could earn a right slap on the face. Paul clipped the tiny gold chain onto the flap of his vest and slipped the pocket watch into his pocket. Even though he first disliked the little object, he had grown to take care of it and appreciate the fact that his parents decided to give him something so important to them. Maybe it would be good luck one day.

Paul exited his bedroom, his dream still floating around in his mind. Could that person be his soulmate? Did someone usually see their soulmate’s in their dream? He didn’t really know, maybe he could ask his parents or George. A loud growling noise rudely interrupted his thoughts. Paul recognized that sound as hunger, knowing that he had to eat sooner or later. He dragged himself into the kitchen, and saw George standing at the counter, pouring a glass bottle of milk into a bowl full of corn flakes.

“Hey George,” Paul called.

He fully intended on asking if George had ever had the same experience as him. And if he could find him something that would make his headache go away. George turned his head and nodded, acknowledging his presence, before turning around to put the bottle back into the fridge.

“Did you ever dream of Pattie before you met her?” 

George stood back up, processing the question. Did he ever dream of Pattie? Perhaps, he couldn’t recall that well. It had been four years since they met.

“I think I did once or twice. Maybe not specifically her but I remember feeling like it was someone that I knew. Someone that I had just spent a long time away from.” George answered, then walking over to the drawer to get a spoon, confused as to why Paul would even ask such a question, “Why do you ask?”

“I think I might have had a dream like that. I dreamt of someone that I liked a lot.”

“What was she like?”

Paul stopped. He couldn’t reveal the actual sex of this person. Thoughts of becoming a human torch began to fill his mind, he could get thrown out of his own flat, maybe George will never speak to him again.

“I can’t really describe it, but I had this feeling like I couldn't leave her. She got up, and I tried to grab onto her, but my hands went through her arm and she continued to walk away.” Paul sighed.

Talking about his mysterious dream only made him want the man more. Paul wanted to see what this person looked like in the real world, and not just someone that he would be able to see only when he wasn’t awake. The feeling of their kiss still left a tingling sensation of Paul’s lips. It was as if Paul had been actually kissed by someone while he was asleep. Must be something relating to soulmates or something he thought to himself. He slipped his hand into his pocket where he grasped his parents pocket watch. His parent’s good luck charm better work. If his pocket watch granted him some kind of luck, any kind of luck, he wished that it would arrive sooner or later.

“Well, maybe your dream is a sign that the person is going away somewhere. Which means that they don’t live here and was only here on vacation or visiting relatives or something. Looks like I was right yesterday.” George smiled, feeling a slight victory as he thought about their conversation last night.

“Maybe you’re right, I need to go look for them. I don’t want hi-her to get away.” Paul quickly put out, trying to cover up his mistake by talking faster. George stared at him, narrowing his eyes and he brought his metal spoon to his mouth. A cold feeling shot right to his feet at the thought of George finding about the identity of his dream. He stared at him back, but looking ever so slightly down, trying to hide his slightly blushing face.

“Yeah, wouldn’t want her to get away.” George repeated slowly.

Somehow now that his eyes were brown, Paul became more intimidated by them. As if they could see right through him. He gripped the pocket watch a little tighter, and started to feel the back of his neck heat up. George ended their staring match by tearing his eyes away to look at the cuckoo clock right above the fireplace.

“I have to go meet Pattie soon, we’re going to her parents house for a few days.” George said, quickly putting his dishes into the sink and hurrying to his room, presumably to go pack his things for his trip away.

 _God I fucked up. He knows_. Paul thought to himself as he kept standing in the middle of the kitchen, knowing that his friend will most likely never speak to him again. His stomach growled again, and he tiredly walked over to the fridge to try and find something to soothe both his stomach and embarrassment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I was scheduled for 8 hours of work so I literally worked on this during my break. hahaahahhaa. These chapters have been starting to get longer, so I might start posting on a less regular basis. Right now, it's kinda like every two days, but it might become an update once a week or something.


	5. Chapter Five

After George disappeared in his room, he reappeared an hour later with a suitcase in his hand. Paul offered to walk George to the train station, as a last resort to try and explain to him what he had said. He knew that he was just going to regret even making the offer but he still made it anyway. George accepted it. Paul looked at his eyes in mild shock. He thought that after his slip up in the kitchen George wouldn’t want to talk to him, let alone be in his presence. But, it was better to explain rather than let George make up his own assumptions. 

After Paul locked the door with his skeleton key, they walked down the stairs and started over to the train station, which was about a twenty minute walk. Giving Paul plenty of time to worry and plan the inevitable conversation bound to happen between them.

As they walked, Paul focused the dark amber doves flying above him. The sounds of their leather shoes hitting the pavement provided a well enough distraction to not talk to each other. After a long, awkward silence Paul had to know if George had heard what he had heard. He couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t want him to leave without-

“Um, I know you were going to say him instead of her.” George suddenly said. Paul whipped his head to turn to George, who was still looking at the pavement below. He guessed George beat him to it. 

“O....oh.” 

Paul couldn’t really say anything to that. What else could he do? He couldn’t deny what he had said, maybe George won’t hate him. George was going to live with Pattie soon anyway, perhaps he could just move out a few months early. Or better yet, just stay at Pattie’s parents house forever. Paul’s fists clenched tightly, digging his nails into the palms of his hands. He was getting himself ready for the slurs and insults that were bound to fall from George’s mouth. 

“I’m not really surprised to be honest, I kinda already assumed you were queer.” 

This declaration by George surprised Paul even more. The sounds of their footsteps slowly came to a stop, both of them standing in the middle of the street. He immediately unclenched his fists, his palms relieved from the pain they had just been receiving. George was ok with it? He wasn’t going to call him a fag, a dirty queer? And what did he mean that he always knew?? Paul’s face started to heat up, realizing that others could very well know about him if apparently he was that obvious. 

“How....what? Does anyone else know?!” Paul questioned, almost yelling at him. He began to throw a bunch of questions at George, such as _Why didn’t you tell me,_ and, _How was I so obvious?_

His friend’s brown eyes met his own, immediately silencing Paul’s outburst. Once again he felt as if those brown eyes could see straight into his soul. He never felt naked once again, even with all his layers of clothes on. His life since yesterday had been nothing but ups and downs and right now Paul just wanted to just get away from the chaos. Which he could, he could always just leave George, and drink himself to oblivion like the previous night. They haven’t even gotten that far from their flat, he could still see their door from where they stood. 

“No one else knows I promise. I mean, I’ve known you the longest right?” George gave a small smile, “it was only a matter of time before I figured it out, but I never really expected you were going to say it yourself.” 

Paul could not find anything amusing about the situation at all. He continued to stare at his younger friend, his shocked expression practically frozen on his face. George raised his eyebrow, sensing that Paul wasn’t going to say anything for a while, so he continued to explain. 

“Well, it started about two years ago, when you first started going to all the clubs and shit. I was with you one time, and we both saw the lead singer of the band that was playing. I thought nothing of it, but you glued your eyes onto him. Like he was some kind of saint. You drank a lot, like more than yesterday, and tried to talk to him. I swear you were trying to get him to come home with you. He punched you, and you came back to me all sad. You whined about how he wouldn’t let you touch him. That’s how I found out. You basically kind of just told me, and you didn’t even know that you were saying it.” 

“I don’t even remember that night.” 

“Yeah, I don’t even blame you, it was the most alcohol you ever drank. I was scared that you wouldn’t be able to wake up the next morning. But you did, and didn’t even know how you got home or what happened the night before. I didn’t want to bring it up in case you got mad, so I just didn't say anything. But after that I began to notice how you looked at other men.” 

“Sorry...” Paul apologized sheepishly, to both the singer and George. What a right idiot he must’ve been to the singer, blatantly asking to just touch him like that. No wonder he punched him, Paul would’ve punched himself if he could go into the past. And to George, he had to drag Paul’s drunk ass all the way back to their flat, and knowing one of Paul’s secrets that he just accidentally slipped out. 

He had always thought he had hidden his attraction for men pretty well. He never openly flirted with them, knowing that it could get him jailed, but also because he didn’t think that men would be interested in him back. Only on that one occasion did it actually work out for him, but he didn’t really have time to dwell on it because George began talking to him again. 

“It’s alright, later that day I just kind of told you to stop drinking so much.”

“Ok, I remember that.” Paul laughed, a slight tremble in his voice. He recalled that morning of George yelling at him while he sat on the couch about how stupid he was, drinking so much that he didn’t even recall his own name. At the time Paul just brushed it off, thinking that his friend was being too protective of him. Now he knew that George was just looking out for him, not wanting the same incident to occur again. He still couldn’t completely relax though, still slightly scared that George would say something, but he was glad that at least George didn’t hate him. 

“We should keep walking, or else I’m going to be late.” George pointed out, putting his hand into Paul’s vest to pull out the pocket watch. Paul flinched at the sudden hand in his pocket. George pulled out the watch and flipped it open to reveal that it was four in the afternoon. George’s train left at four thirty, so they had to scurry off before Pattie scolded both him and her husband being late. Paul could think about this later, not that he really wanted to.

*~*

After Paul waved both George and Pattie off at the station, he stood at the platform for a little while. He kept his eyes on the moving train, wondering if George was ever going to move out with his wife soon. Don’t get him wrong, he loved George, but he liked being able to bring girls home whenever he wanted, well, that didn’t really matter that much anymore did it? Also, it also provided a space for his soulmate to move in. Unless they had some big, elaborate house. But if they didn’t then Paul generally wanted them to move into his flat, because then he didn’t really have to do any work. 

Turning away from the tracks, he began his trek back. He didn’t really want to go back to his flat just yet, so he let his feet take him wherever they wanted. Also, he didn’t really want to think about how George told him that he knew about him being queer. 

He meandered around for a bit, looking at all the shops lined across the street. Something particular caught his eye in the window next to him. Coming closer he noticed that it was a small, gold and red bracelet. Wait, what? Paul’s eyes grew wide with shock. He moved even closer to the item, almost pressing his face up against the glass. 

There was a ruby around the size of a dime placed right at the top of the bracelet, as if it was showing off to the rest of the colorless world. Anyone knew that a bracelet with that big of a gem wasn't really meant to be worn for simple enjoyment, it was also meant to be shown off. It was to let everyone know that they were rich, or that they were able to see the gorgeous color of the ruby. The thin cuff was gold, or at least coated with gold, as he could see little specks of silver on the inside of the bracelet. 

Paul became absolutely mesmerized by the single piece of jewelry, a little part of him wishing he had someone who would be able to gift him something as lavish as that. Soon he will. 

_They have to be close_ , Paul thought as he began to back away from the bracelet. Last time this happened it was one only color, and even then his soulmate was far away. If he could see two, doesn’t that mean that they were close to him, or even better, inside the very store he stood outside of?

Paul quickly lifted his head and peered into the shop. It appeared to be a jewelry store, explaining why there was that lovely bracelet being shown off in the window. He could see a figure behind the counter. Maybe it was them, or a customer inside. He quickly rushed in, the little bell attached to the top of the door rang, signaling the person at the counter. 

The figure he had seen, who turned out to be a woman, made eye contact with him and gave him a warm smile. Nothing changed. No big reveal, not a single shred of color. He felt a little pang of disappointment at the thought he would have to try a little bit harder to go find them. A part of him wished that his search could have ended there, but the other part of him knew that he wouldn’t be satisfied with her. He was so close yet so far. The rulers of the universe were really playing with him this time.

Paul went up to the woman, but not without looking around to see if there were any customers inside. But he saw no one in the store besides her. He proceeded to lean on the counter, almost putting his entire body weight on it. 

“Hello, darling.” He almost purred, pulling himself close to her face. She smiled a little wider, seemingly wanting as much attention as Paul would give her. 

“Hello yourself handsome.” She replied back.

Though he was flattered at the sound of a woman flirting back with him, Paul wasn’t here for that right now, but maybe later, if nothing goes right. 

“Do you happen to know if someone has come in here recently?” He asked, fully intending on getting a solid answer of _yes, right over there_. 

“Sorry sir, but we haven’t had anyone come in in the past twenty minutes.” She said, looking into his eyes. Dammit. They’re not here. The woman still smiled up at Paul, probably wishing he would ask her out or something. 

Paul’s mood immediately dropped right after that sentence came out of her. He slammed his hands on the counter in frustration and hurried out the door once again. The woman had a confused look on her face at the sudden change but brushed it off. He was probably looking for his girlfriend who ran away, asking for forgiveness for something stupid that he did. 

Paul stood outside of the jeweler, looking around at his surroundings again. If they weren’t in there, then where? He noticed the slight reddening of the bricks of the houses, and the red roses neatly potted in the front of another store across the street. As much as he wanted to admire as much as he could, right now he had to find them. Paul didn’t even know where to start, but he knew that he had to find them soon. Or else they would leave, if Paul’s dream was indeed about his soulmate. If Paul’s dream was right, then it should be a man he’s looking for, not a woman. 

He continued his search around the shops. He entered numerous shops, asking if anyone had come in recently. Almost every single one of them said they didn’t have anyone come in recently, although one bookkeeper did say they saw someone. Paul’s ears perked up, only to be disappointed when he found out that it was just an old man going to drop off his rented books. 

After a while, Paul took out his pocket watch and looked at the time. It had almost been half an hour since he started looking, whoever his soulmate is, they were probably gone by now. There wasn’t really a use to search anymore, but he reluctantly went to go ask one more person before he decided to call it quits. Noticing a man inside a shoe shop across the street, he hurried his way inside to ask the same set of questions one last time. The scent of leather and shoe oil overwhelmed his senses as he walked up to the nearest employee, who turned out to be the owner of the shop. 

“Yea, there was one fellow who came in around twenty minutes ago.” the store keeper explained while putting a new pair of shoes near the window, presumably to show off to all the possible customers outside. 

A new wave of energy surged into Paul. He had never listened to someone harder in his life. 

“Do you know what he looked like?” Paul demanded, desperately needing to know the answer. The man paused what he was doing and looked at him with a strange look, but continued nonetheless. 

“He was around your height I would say, he came inside to get a new pair of black leather shoes. I swear it was the first time he had ever seen black, his eyes went wide and everything,” the man chuckled, “I don’t know if you see color but if you do then he was wearing a dark navy suit jacket, I also remember he had a pair of glasses on.” 

Bingo. Paul was so sure that this was the person. Paul thanked the shopkeeper and went outside, breathing a deep breath of fresh air. It felt as if he was rejuvenated. Then, he remembered that the owner was talking about an incident that happened twenty minutes ago. Paul’s energy left him again, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to catch up to his soulmate even if he tried. If it only took him ten minutes to get to his flat from where he was, if he was given twenty minutes, he could be almost anywhere else within a three mile radius. 

Paul gave up his search, and began turned to walk in the direction of his home. He quickly did one more glance over the shops, just in case. And he saw him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped everyone enjoyed this chapter! hEhE. I hope you look forward to the next chapter :)


	6. Chapter Six

He didn’t actually think that he was going to be able to find him. As his eyes laid on that man right over there Paul immediately knew he was the one. Even though his backside was toward Paul, he just had an overwhelming feeling of familiarity. It was his soulmate. There was no else that could make him feel like he did in that dream of his. 

Paul practically ripped out his pocket watch out of his vest and looked at the time. It displayed five thirty, maybe after he caught up to him they could go watch the sunset together. They could go to the dock right next to that bar, where everything first started. They could have a long chat, get to know each other and maybe even kiss. That would be nice. Paul’s head imagined what the next few moments would be like. All of them included them laughing, smiling, and not spending a single second apart. 

He knew it was only yesterday, but it suddenly felt like a lifetime ago. So much had happened since that night, seeing color for the first time, George finding out about his secret love for men, George going away, him being able to see red and gold, and now being able to find the person responsible for his new vision. It couldn’t go any better than this. Or Paul had hoped. 

If he ever got rejected he could always go back to that girl from the bar yesterday, she looked like she could take him back, or the one from the jeweler. She openly flirted with him so he didn’t really take that as a bad sign, maybe he could even fuck her. But that was only if things didn’t go right. Paul wanted things to go right for once, he didn’t want his searching to go waste. 

He didn’t even register that the man had entered the shop, seemingly wanting to buy something to snack on. He had disappeared from Paul’s view, again. How come this keeps happening to him? But unlike before, he knew where he went, so no more unnecessary time wasting. Paul’s feet started to dash toward the sweets shop. The passersby around him looked at Paul strangely, them seeing this man run around for the past twenty minutes looking very distressed must have been a sight for them. Some of them pointed, some of them laughed, but what others thought of him mattered the least to him at the moment. Right now he didn’t really care if other people looked at him weirdly. Paul just needed to get to him. And not let him go. 

Paul began getting closer and closer to the shop, and consequently toward the person who had been plaguing his dreams and thoughts the previous night. Were they experiencing the same thing as he was? Did they try to go and find him, like he was with them? What if he didn’t want their soulmate to be a man, what if he turned him away? All of these questions filled Paul’s head but he didn’t really know the answer to them. He’ll get his answers later. 

Everything around him was getting more colorful and brighter. He could finally see the tiny specs of green that were the little weeds growing through the cracks of the sidewalk, a woman’s long, olive green coat, a little girl’s bright blonde hair. Paul’s eyes began to squint a little from the overwhelming amount of color he was being exposed to. He should slow down, maybe walk instead of run. No, he had to get him. 

Quickly his mind began to worry about the possibilities of not finding him. The whole day he had been thinking about this non stop. If that man left the shop, Paul didn’t know if he could track him down again. If this man was actually going to leave Liverpool soon, like George had suggested, then it was a very likely possibility that Paul would never see him again. He just couldn’t let that happen. _Calm down,_ he reminded himself. _You know where he is, he hasn’t left yet. Everything will be ok._

Finally, Paul burst inside, startling the cashier. He gave her a small apologetic smile, and glanced at the amount of color in the room. Even though it was still a little muted, seeing as he hasn’t made eye contact with his soulmate, it was bright enough where it temporarily halted Paul in his place. Trying to catch his breath, and to not look like a madman, Paul walked up and down the aisles. He looked along the window where several buckets of little taffy’s were lined up, no one was there. Next, he searched more toward the ice cream booth, where little hard candies were in tiny little bottles. Still no luck. Finally, he ventured over to the back, and quietly prayed to the rulers of the universe that he would find him. 

Thankfully, he spotted the man in a secluded aisle, looking through the different types of chocolates laid out before him. Paul thanked the rulers of the universe, and decided to shamelessly admire him. He saw more of the deep blue of the stranger’s styled suit jacket, the bright auburn color of his wavy, short hair, and the light purple socks that peeped out under his trousers. Even his small, circular black glasses made him look better than any girl or man he had ever seen. His body looked almost exactly like it did in Paul’s dream, strong, protective, and safe. He couldn’t wait to hug him, to feel what his hair felt in his fingers, to know how to make him moan and writhe under him. 

Of course Paul’s mind always went back to sex. It’s what a majority of his dream was anyway. He couldn’t help himself, that man was a walking wet dream anyway. 

And he was standing right in front of him. All Paul had to do now was go up to him. But it seemed like the most impossible task he had ever done. Paul’s nerves were extremely on edge, it was like he was talking to his teenage crush all over again. And even then he wasn’t as nervous as this. He knew that most of the girls he flirted with liked him back, but this time he didn’t even know if that man would even want to associate with him. 

Paul tried his best to not immediately run up to him, but his feet sure tried. His feet seemed to have a mind of its own these days, wanting to guide him toward places, but he wasn’t going to complain. They had brought him to this beautiful man in front of him, he couldn’t be more happy. He scurried up to the man, grabbing him by his shoulder and turning him around, so that he could finally see him, face to face. 

“Mate, what are ya-”, the man exclaimed, not liking the sudden touch, but as soon as he made eye contact with Paul, he immediately stopped his words. A small gasp came out of Paul’s mouth. The person in front of him was so beautiful that Paul might just cry. They both stared at each other, both realizing that this was it. Everything seemed to get brighter to the point where he might go blind, but Paul didn’t close his eyes. He didn’t want to close his eyes. If he did then he would be robbed of the beauty in front of him. 

The man’s narrow eyes, his auburn eyebrows, and slightly rosy cheeks. His amazing freckles that kissed his entire face, and his lovely lips, almost begging to be kissed and bruised. Christ Paul felt like a bird, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight that was his soulmate. His lips curled up into a big smile, knowing that his search was now over. 

The greatest thing was that he could see every single color. There was not one grey shade. This was the person that he was truly meant to be with. His mother talked about how color made such a difference, how it made life more beautiful, but now Paul could fully understand what she was saying. No matter what he said before about how it didn’t make a difference, he took all of that back. but when he was with this man in front of him, he guessed it didn’t really matter at all. His mother was right when she said that it made life more interesting. 

He remembered George telling him about how bright and blue the sky actually was, but Paul couldn’t even grasp at the concept of the sky being nothing more than just grey. Now he knew. He had to call George, if he still wasn’t weirded out by him at least, and tell him what happened. It was such an eventful day, and he was glad he stuck around until the end and didn’t just go home. He had been greatly rewarded by probably the sexiest man in the world. 

His lovely brown eyes gave the same effect as George’s, but he kept staring into them, not wanting to break their eye contact. The man equally stared back, too shocked to say anything else. A heavy silence filled the air, and finally the man turned his body away to look at the chocolates once more. Paul felt a rush of rejection go through his entire body. 

  
  


What?

  
  


“I didn’t expect it to be you.” The other man quietly breathed out, almost as if he didn’t want Paul to hear him. He couldn’t hold back his question anymore. 

“Were you looking at me yesterday night at the dock?” Paul questioned, and moved next to his soulmate. He stared at the other’s side profile, almost licking his lips at his jawline. It looked so sharp it could probably cut him, in the best way possible. Paul had to admit that he looked good, even if he wasn’t directly facing forward. 

“....kind of.” The other man admitted. This confession took him back, giving Paul a small sense of doubt. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I was looking at the person next to you..” 

Oh.

“George...” 

Paul didn’t understand. Did he want George instead of him? What did that mean? So was he not excited to see him.....at all? Was he expecting George to find him? But, George already met Pattie, did this man not know that? He did have crushes once in a while, why was this any different from that? Why is this so complicated? No scenario he imagined in his head would have prepared him for this. Meeting his soulmate was supposed to be joyous, celebratory! Now it just felt awkward, knowing that he wasn’t the one his soulmate wanted to see. 

“If that’s his name, then yes, I didn’t think it was you....I thought it was him that made me see.” 

Paul didn’t know what to say to that. 

“Did you want it to be him?” The other man looked up into his eyes again. Paul already knew his answer. Yes. Yes he did want it to be George. He didn’t want Paul. This man didn’t want him around, and that hurt more than anything in the world. He was just some person standing next to the person that this man actually wanted. There goes his plans with watching the sunset with him. There goes his plans with everything. 

“Oh...” was all Paul said in response. 

He felt his throat clench up, he knew if he stayed in this person’s presence any longer he was going to cry. His soulmate already didn’t want him, Paul didn’t want him to portray himself weaker than he actually was. Paul turned around to leave, the disappointment of this man crushing him more than anything. He guessed that he would just marry some other woman, give up a few colors and call it a day. Is it even possible for him to lose color though? He had already met his soulmate, did he have to stay together in order to keep all of his colors? Paul could barely keep all of his thoughts straight. Every single one of them were something to do with disappointment, excitement, or false hope. That maybe he-

“Wait!” the older man called, grasping onto his counter’s arm. Paul was filled with a false sense of hope that maybe he did change his mind within the last minute. Maybe he did want Paul. 

“What’s your name?”, he asked. Nevermind. 

“....Paul.” Paul replied slowly. He was still disappointed that nothing was going to happen. 

“Well Paul, I’m John.” The now named John said with a sort of smile.

Paul couldn’t stand it anymore. Even his soulmate didn’t want him! Paul gave John a sharp glare and turned around to start his lonely trek to his flat. But not without selecting a few sweets, some chocolates, some hard candies, and a load of taffies. He could indulge in these later, when he was alone. Right now he just needs to find a girl and take her back to his flat. He could let out his frustration through her. What else was he supposed to do? Well he supposed he could drink away his feelings, it was what he did almost every weekend for two years anyway.

Returning to the jewelers from earlier, Paul spotted the same woman at the counter. She acknowledged him with a knowing glance. He walked up to her going through the same motions that he did earlier that day.

“Girlfriend dump you or something?” She asked hopefully, glancing at his paper bag full of sweets and candies. Paul gave her a forced mischievous smile, trying to forget what just happened to him not even five minutes ago. Though he could feel his vision getting blurry from the tears, he forced himself to hold them back. He couldn’t just break down in the middle of trying to swoon her. 

“Something like that...”, Paul grinned tightly, “Say, I was rather rude to you last time wasn’t I? Let me make it up to you.” 

She smiled with the same mischievous smile that he gave her. Seems like they both know what they wanted from each other. 

“Sure..” she replied. 

_I don’t need you, fuck you John._ And that was the last thought about his soulmate that Paul had in two, restless days. He’ll deal with him later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo. Sorry I made John like George...I promise it won't be for long.


	7. Chapter Seven

The situation that Paul had gotten himself into was more or less ridiculous. He was supposed to go watch the sunset, have a nice conversation, and a milkshake with his soulmate. That was supposed to happen. But instead here he was, fucking some random girl again. Like every weekend. He wanted to change his bad habits, sort of. He still wanted to drink beer and get drunk, but Paul at least wanted to fuck someone that he knew, instead of random girls. Go home to someone he loved, instead of an empty flat, where he sulked about most hours of the day when he wasn’t drunk or at work. Sure girls were pretty and all that, but finally he thought he found someone that he could spend the rest of his life with. It was supposed to be good. But he got turned down, by the one person who wasn’t supposed to turn him down. His soulmate was into his friend....not him. How pathetic was that. 

He led the girl from the jeweler back to his flat. Now grateful that George was gone, he quickly unlocked the door and threw her inside. Pinning her against the wall next to the door, he smashed his lips against hers, wanting to fulfill his desires of kissing John. If kissing this girl and imagining that she was John was the only way he could be with him, Paul was going to do it.

Paul’s breath hitched into her mouth as she slowly moved her hand into his trousers. She lightly massaged his growing erection, and Paul’s palms tightly gripped her waist, wanting to hurt her, wanting to leave bruises on her precious skin. He slightly moved back, and roaming his eyes over her features. Unlike last time he could see this girl’s pale skin, his eyes trailed up to her hair, almost as bright as John’s. Paul secretly thanked her for having the same color as John’s, so when she was sucking his dick he could imagine his soulmate better. 

Almost buckling his knees at the firm grasp the lady made on his cock, he quickly moved them to the coach, finding it to be the closest and most convenient place to have sex with someone. It had been a right fright when George accidentally walked in, coming home to Paul holding up a girls legs, mercilessly pounding into her. George dashed out of the door, and didn’t come back until the next morning. After he had come back, he made Paul promise that he wouldn’t do anything like that again. Obviously Paul didn’t listen, and whenever George would see a girl under Paul’s arm when they came home, he just simply walked out and went on a two or three hour walk around the buildings. Paul always laughed after because his friend would be walking around in freezing weather in order to not hear his mate’s and the girl’s moans. 

He continued to attack her delicious, plump lips, moving his hands boldly up and down her stomach, and eventually to her breasts, where he lightly massaged them, earning a light moan when the girl beneath him. Kissing back just as furiously, she slid her hands up to unbutton his vest. The fabric slid off his body, tossed it to the side, and continued to pant and squirm under his touch, not really noticing that Paul’s mind was completely somewhere else. Or if she did notice, she couldn’t give less of a shit. 

Back in Paul’s head, he just couldn’t keep his thoughts of John. He tried, he really did. Getting himself a woman to try and ease his mind was easy enough, but no matter what he did his dream kept inserting itself into his mind. Untucking her sweater from her skirt, he kept on comparing the feelings of her soft hands sliding on his skin to a more rough, coarse hands that he wanted to feel. Paul wanted to feel dominated for once, wanting to be owned, wanting the feeling of belonging to someone. Running his fingers under her sweater and all around her soft stomach, he welcomed the feeling of warm skin on his cold fingertips. She gasped slightly at the sudden temperature but continued to suck on his tongue. Paul knew he wasn’t supposed to be doing this, and he wondered if John would be jealous if he knew this was going on. 

Using one hand to keep her wrists above her and the other to spread her legs, he quickly pulled off her black shorts and underwear in one go. With the girl being almost fully naked, his eyes traveled up and down her slim, pale body. Her skirt was gathered up against her stomach, exposing herself to Paul. Releasing her hands, he quickly returned them on her breasts once again, licking her thighs and nipping at the skin. He felt fingers move into his hair, gently pulling at him, moving him closer to her womanhood. 

He should not be doing this. At least not while a part still felt bad about just leaving John in the store.  _ I won’t do this again,  _ he promised himself. 

  
  


*~*

  
  


Back at his own little flat on the other side of Liverpool, John went over the situation that transpired between him and his soulmate that afternoon. He couldn’t believe he just did that. He couldn’t believe he had met his soulmate, right in the middle of a candy store. To be honest he didn’t know where most people even met their true loves, but he assumed that in the middle of being sweets was not it. John was still slightly disappointed that Paul had met him and not the other man. He wanted it to be..to be..what was his name again? Oh yeah, George. Pouring himself a steaming hot cup of tea, he sat himself down at his kitchen table. John contemplated what he should have done, or shouldn't have done at the time. Did he make the right choice?

Back at the dock the previous night, he had spotted two handsome young men leaning against the rope that lined the dock. His eyes immediately attached themselves to the taller one of the two, noticing his hollowed out cheeks, mysterious grey eyes, and just the overall presence of him lecturing his older friend. John was taken aback by how handsome he was. Then, he saw it. He saw color, finally, a shade of bright yellow. Looking up slightly, he noticed that it came from the street lamp across from him.  _ Yes _ , John thought.  _ It’s him..he’s my future lover.  _ The one he had his eyes on was showered in the yellow light, making him seem like he had come down from heaven. The other one was only slightly in, but mostly kept himself in the shadows, but John paid no mind to him. Not when his soon to be boyfriend was standing right there. 

He saw the older one of the two look around, and not wanting to get caught he quickly hid himself in a nearby alley. From there he could still spot the two men, silently wishing that he had made eye contact with him. Soon enough both George and Paul left the area a little while after John had hid himself away. Despite a wanting feeling of going up to the incredibly handsome man, he didn’t want to scare him with his eagerness, or have the other one punch him. After the two left, John walked back to his residence, now admiring the new found color of yellow, and making up scenarios in which he would meet the devilish young man and they could live happily ever after. 

Later while he slept he had the weirdest dream. He was on a beach somewhere, with another man. He just assumed it to be George, before he knew his name, but the man was shorter than him. Gaining an incredibly possessive feeling, he wrapped his arm around his waist, holding him close to his chest. He whispered something about never being apart, and the younger just chuckled while burying his face into John’s shoulder. Everything moved around and next thing he knew he drew his lips closer to who he thought was George and messily kissed him. It was the best feeling in the world. He never wanted it to end, and woke up with a rather embarrassing erection that he took care of. 

Now he knew that it was Paul. 

John stared down into his tea cup. He should probably go add some milk, or sugar. The color looked bland, not as bright as it could be. It’s because he’s not with Paul, he realized. Had he went home with Paul then the world wouldn’t be this muted, it would be bright, cheerful, happy. But then again, it’s not George, so would he even be that happy? Things would become too awkward, one of them wanting more than the other, so John was glad he didn’t go with Paul. Not that Paul wanted him to go with him anyway, with the whole situation of not being his soulmate and everything.

John pushed his tea cup away, frustrated with how things were going. He sighed and slid his elbows down on the table, bringing his head down to let it rest on his hands. Becoming eye level with his tea, he spotted the little black birds contrasting the pale cream color of the cup. They seemed to be flying off the piece of china entirely, trying to escape their shiny prison. But they will be forever painted on the cup, never being able to fly away. It somewhat reminded him of his soulmate, wanting to be free with John but it would never be. One because they are both males, he didn’t even know how his aunt would react with their relationship, and second because he wasn’t really all that interested in Paul sexually. 

Everything seemed to be going wrong. George was supposed to find him, not Paul. He hoped he wasn’t too mad at John, but the way he glared at him said otherwise. He should probably go apologize.  _ For what?  _ He asked himself. Sorry that he didn’t find him attractive? Because Paul was. He was attractive, him and his hazel doe eyes, his perfect teeth when he smiled. Paul no doubt would have caught his eye, had it been another day. But he just wasn’t interested, but at the same time he guessed he didn’t really have a choice. 

Paul was meant to be with him no matter what. No matter how John felt about him they were meant to be together. Would Paul even want to have anything to do with him? He had to, the way he had looked at John was hopeful, there was no way Paul wasn’t interested in him. He could go back to the bar where he first saw Paul, perhaps he would be there drinking his sorrows away. John could suggest that they could just be friends, but he didn’t know how well Paul would handle that. John just ruined this man’s life, and there was nothing he could do about it, except fall in love with him. 

A dull ache began to form on his hands, signaling him to change the position of his head. John sat back up and looked at the clock.  _ Ten thirty,  _ he thought to himself. He had spent almost three hours with his mind set on Paul. Set on someone that he didn’t even like. But he had to make a choice, either go out and find Paul and apologize to him or stay inside and deal with everything tomorrow. If he did go out now, it was possible that he could catch Paul at the bar, but if he went tomorrow, then he could spend more time looking for Paul’s flat, and asking around. 

After debating with himself for another ten minutes, John made the decision to go out and find his somewhat friend. He set foot outside into the cold sea air, letting his eyes set on the setting around him. The little potted daisies and tulips in front of his neighbors door, the mustard yellow window panes of the flat just right above that. No matter what time of the year it was, he could always hear the quiet sloshing of the water hitting the stones, and the tiny boats. This was one of the best things about living right next to the dock. Whenever he needed to think or get a breath of fresh air, he always took the steep stone steps downward and sat down in the sand. Now, looking down at the sand below him the setting heavily reminded him of his dream. How he had held Paul against him, how they both looked out into the open grey ocean. 

He walked through the cold air, taking in all of his new found colors around him. Well, sort of colors, most of them were still muted, but he could make out what they are. He spotted the deep green coating of the railing right up next to the dock. 

“Ew, that’s ugly.” He whispered to no one in particular. He’s looked at those same railings for years, not even knowing that they were such a wretched color of green. One of these days he will probably just paint over it himself, do everyone that lived in this area a favor. 

“Yea, it is.” A familiar voice told him from behind. John stood still. 

Whipping his head around, he found the person who had been on his mind the entire evening standing around four feet behind him. John didn’t expect Paul to be here, let alone find John at all. He was the one that was supposed to go find Paul. But then again, Liverpool was a small place. Traveling from edge to edge would only take about two hours. It was perfectly possible that Paul just happened to be walking around and spotted him. 

As Paul stepped more into the light of the street lamp, John noticed how flustered he appeared. His cheeks were bright red, and his hair went wild all over his head. His button up shirt seemed wrinkled, yet only hours ago it was neatly pressed and smooth. Looking down, his shoelaces weren’t tied properly, and looking a little further he had mismatched socks. If John was being honest, he looked thoroughly wasted on alcohol, so he theorized that Paul had been so devastated that he decided to drink. John didn’t want to pin himself as the purpose of Paul’s sorrow, but at the same time it was the most likely thing that happened. 

“So,” John started nervously, “where were you?” John hoped that Paul was going to tell him something about how he had been thinking about their whole friends or lovers situation. He wanted to be told that they could work something out, that they don’t have to be in a relationship. They could be friends, because John wanted the color but not the person that came along with it. John surprised himself with that answer.  _ Why did I just think that, how could I have just thought that, _ he scolded in his head. He wasn’t that heartless! If Paul came with the color then he would gladly take him, just not in the way Paul wanted. 

“At home, with a girl.” Paul stated bluntly shrugging his shoulders while keeping his hands in his pockets. 

John was slightly taken aback. Wow. Paul looked almost proud of it. He could see a tiny little smirk press up into Paul’s mouth. Even though he knew he rejected Paul, he didn’t expect him to go sleep with a random girl. Growing only slightly jealous, John continued to speak. 

“I.....can’t believe you.” John looked down, becoming anxious with Paul’s answer. Paul just said that. Out loud. In front of John. To be fair, that wasn’t really something John was accustomed with. To be just openly told that he was being cheated on, sort of. They weren’t even dating, but that was no reason for Paul to sleep with some random girl, especially right after their first encounter! 

“Why?” Paul questioned with a scoff, and a tone that sounded as if John was the stupidest man on earth. And, at this very moment he might as possibly well be. Secretly face palming himself, John didn’t even think about how Paul would feel when he told him that he wanted Paul to be George.

“I...I thought that...well, I just didn’t expect that.” 

“Oh, like you expected me to be George, yea, I didn’t expect that either.” Paul said with a condescending tone, staring into his brown eyes, “We both didn’t expect this.” 

John didn’t know what to say to that. He should say something along the lines of “I’m sorry”, it was the whole reason he came out of his flat in the first place. But, his voice just completely stopped working. Paul was right. They both didn’t expect this to happen to them. John did think it was unfair for Paul that he didn’t get what he wanted, but it was also unfair for John to be blatantly pushed aside like that. John clenched his fists, and slowly started saying the words he had been thinking about all evening. 

“I’m sorry, for how I acted when you saw me. I didn’t really expect you to find me, but I just wanted to let you know that I want, I don’t, uh, I want to still be friends, if, y’know, that’s ok with you.” John stammered out. He couldn’t look at Paul, he didn’t want to know what Paul’s face even looked like at the moment. 

John could feel his face heating up, becoming more and more embarrassed with the sentence he had just put out of his mouth and into the world. It was out there now. Anyone who could have been eavesdropping them just heard every word that had just been said. Asking your soulmate to just be friends! Did anyone actually do that? He guessed that him and Paul did. 

Paul thought about it, weighing the options in his head. Another cold breeze passed by them, slightly ruffling John’s auburn hair. Paul stared at his downward face for a bit longer, wanting nothing more than to just kiss him. To just pull John into his arms, sneaking his arms beneath his coat, letting his body heat warm him up from the cold. Wanting to say against his lips that he wanted him, as a couple, not friends, he didn’t think he could stand not being able to do whatever he wanted to him. Although, being friends was much better than just getting rid of John altogether. He would rather not be able to touch John in explicit ways than not being able to see him at all. Not only would it contribute more to his heartache, but also probably all the colors would go too. He didn’t know how far the rules of color extended to when it came to things like this. Paul hadn't met anyone else that had gotten turned away, so he had no one else to turn to. 

After a few, long moments of silence, John began to get worried. If Paul wanted nothing to do with him anymore, he understood. It was ok, for things to go this way. He knew that there were people out there who settled with not being able to see a few colors, he could become one of them. If Paul didn’t want to be just his friend, he could always find another person out there for him. 

“Ok..” Paul replied slowly, “we can be friends.” 

John smiled in relief at his response, feeling victorious for once. 

“Thank you Paul.”

The younger gave him a look that John couldn’t really decipher. It looked neutral, yet there was some sort of passion hidden in his soulmate’s combination of yellow, green and brown eyes. Something that made John only a slight bit uncomfortable. Perhaps it was lust, perhaps it was rage, John didn’t know. 

“Would you like to get a beer or something sometime soon?” John offered. 

“Sure. Next Tuesday would be nice.” Paul smiled softly. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the inactivity. I had major writers block, and I am currently switching jobs. sorry again! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, it's a little bit longer this time :)


End file.
